Accepting Yourself

My name is Birchurawkp and I'm Head of the Breeding Programs. For my clan's paper I have decided to help those in need. Specifically, to help out those in the LGBTQ+ community. I know the community can be hard to understand at times and that not every clan is as accepting as Seitou's Clan. I cover such things as helping an ally understand the community as well as helping dragons understand their sexual and gender identities.

To get your question answered in the next issue, send a personal message HERE.

Dear Birch,

I haven't been very sure about my sexuality lately, and I'm almost positive I'm not straight. Here's the deal. During the Starfall Celebration just past, my closest friend and I were on a hill staring at the stars. This fluttery feeling in my stomach suddenly appears, and I think nothing of it then. As the weeks passed, I reflected on it more. I've had crushes on guys before. I'm just really confused and I stuck a temporary 'bisexual' label on myself. I need some advice to find my true self, and how to decide.

-Poseidon

Dear Poseidon,

Sexuality can be an extremely fluid thing. Some dragons figure out their sexuality out earlier than others. This is not a bad thing nor is it a problem. You have your whole life to figure out your sexuality.

I thought I had mine figured out and then I met Elfangor, my mate.

Maybe your friend is making you have the same revelation that your sexuality isn't what you once thought it was.

Some dragons define bisexuality differently than others, neither definition is right or wrong. Some say bisexuality means you are attracted to two genders while others say two or more.

I would suggest examining your feelings. Look at who you've had crushes on in the past and why you've had them. Don't feel ashamed of any of your thoughts at this point. If you do, figure out why they shame you.

Do you find you desire more than physical relations with one gender over the other? Some bisexuals do find it much harder, if impossible, to get into a committed with one gender (say female in this case).

If you find yourself having more straight crushes than same-sex ones, you shouldn't feel ashamed with choosing a label that reflects that. Do not feel forced to call yourself a bisexual.

-Birchurawkp

Hi, Birch.

Is it okay not to want a mate? I mean... I know I should be into finding a partner and having kids and all that kinds of stuff but I just don't feel like it. It's not that there are no nice dragons in the clan to choose from - there are plenty - but I'm just not interested. I once tried to make a move on someone but then ran away at the last moment.
Is there something wrong with me?

Alder

Dear Alder,

There is nothing wrong with not wanting a mate. Sometimes circumstances pop up that make it impossible to focus on coitus and that's not bad. Coitus is not the most important thing in life and not performing coitus doesn't make you any less of a dragon.

Besides circumstances popping up, there is asexuality. The basics of this sexual identity is that an asexual dragon isn't interested in coitus. Because of the misunderstanding of this sexual identity, many asexuals feel broken. Society tends to place an unfair importance on coitus and so those that go against that norm are made to feel like something is wrong.

Asexuality is a spectrum and some asexuals are okay with performing coitus from time to time. Others are disgusted by everything sexual.

Aromantic is a romantic identity that means the dragon isn't interested in a relationship. This is also a spectrum that seems to be highly useful for those on the asexual spectrum.

If you are asexual or if you don't want a mate right now, you aren't broken and you aren't worthless.

-Birchurawkp

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